My Mother’s Wrongful Death By Remdesivir :

I am sinking in the abyss of sadness. There’s not a single day that I don’t cry thinking of my mother. It’s her second death anniversary next month on October-30th.

I was quivering like a leaf as I latterly read her reports and death summary for the very first time!

I knew I would find execrable and vexatious results.. but I had to read it sometime…someday…somewhere! So I did… it’s shocking beyond belief!

The odyssey that my mother has gone through— is just incredible!

My mother was hospitalized on October-14-2021, ( only to die on October-30-2021 at 1:20 P.M) with mildly low SPO2 levels.

The first thing the hospital did was a nasal swab and concluded that she had COVID-19 pneumonia. She was in the ICU.

They decided to do her endoscopy and colonoscopy because of her low blood count.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9622379/#:~:text=3.,medical%20problems%2C%20especially%20respiratory%20failure.

“Often GI bleeding in COVID-19-infected patients is clinically mild and does not require GI endoscopy.

GI endoscopy is deferred in acutely ill patients with mild-to-moderate GI bleeding, because such patients often have multiple acute medical problems, especially respiratory failure.

Some possible complications that may occur with an upper GI endoscopy are: Infection. Bleeding. A tear in the lining (perforation) of the duodenum, esophagus, or stomach.

It is not safe to have an endoscopy; for example, if you have severe breathing problems, unstable vital signs, unable to lie flat for long periods or you have problems with the digestive tract, then it can make a gastroscopy very difficult to be done.,

(Capsule endoscopy and deep enteroscopy play significant roles in the diagnosis of obscure GI bleeding, usually from the small bowel)”.

Nothing seemed to matter and the upper endoscopy and colonoscopy was anyways performed! Isn’t this in violation of common sense! Let alone protocols. Was the endoscopy equipment disinfected according to standard procedures?

Next comes Remdesivir…Indeed, RDV is a toxic drug. I wish more (honest) research studies were conducted in 2020.

This killer drug by Gilead Sciences, (initially manufactured for Ebola and later used in China during the early stages of outbreak of SARS-CoV-2) is deleterious and counterproductive and it’s parent nucleoside GS-441524 is equally inimical and ruinous.

I now know that some folks have sponsored trials on GS-441524. Why did they promote this poison?

Nothing much was known to most of us- -at the time, when this drug got an EUA for administrating in critically ill patients.

I think the FDA did a pathetic job in giving an EUA to every experimental drug… w/o enough research data.

But even the FDA Adverse Events Reporting System (FAERS), suggests Acute Kidney Injury (AKI) as the most frequent Adverse Event (AE) following treatment with remdesivir.

The WHO recommended against the use of Remdesivir on November-20-2020.

https://www.who.int/news-room/feature-stories/detail/who-recommends-against-the-use-of-remdesivir-in-covid-19-patients

I didn’t know that the COVID-19 care team was administering this drug [Remdesivir] to my mother… I was not told anything about her line of treatment.

I was always told she’s just doing ‘fine’!

I don’t know if it’s ethical to lie about a patient’s health status. Anyways, nothing about my mother’s death and the hospital makes sense to me.

I don’t know what’s making me on tenterhooks to write the specifics of my mother’s death!

I am traumatized by my mother’s death and it’s taken me two long years to write about her death and read her reports …

I would have never consented for using this drug [Remdesivir] on my mother, had I known. Besides, it violates the WHO and the FDA protocols.

The FDA did recommend to NOT give this drug to patients with an eGFR < 30 ml / mins (until recently in 2023).

Potential kidney damage associated with the use of remdesivir for COVID-19: analysis of a pharmacovigilance database - PubMed

My mother was a CKD patient. Her eGFR was < 9 ml /mins! Ergo, she was still treated with RDV.

As I was reading her death summary, I see her creatinine levels, her liver enzymes hitting the roof! I see deteriorating kidney and liver function upon using this drug .

It’s heart wrenching to have used Remdesivir.

My mother’s SPO2 hasn’t been mentioned anywhere in her records! And before tracheostomy, her ABG tests results haven’t been done.

My mother has been diagnosed with ARDS. A chest X-ray to measure fluids in the lungs was not performed!

Besides, a blood test to determine oxygen levels in the blood (to help determine the severity of ARDS) was also not performed.

My mother was diagnosed with OSA and COPD that’s not written in her medical history. No medications have been prescribed for COPD?

For OSA, Polysomnography- -the gold standard for diagnosis is attended polysomnography (level I study)… was not done.

My mother never had temperature when she went to the hospital… but her records indicate otherwise!

Tracheostomy is sometimes preferred over translaryngeal intubation. But for my mother, she was intubated on the mechanical ventilator and her tracheostomy was done only two days before her death! That was meteoric, wasn’t it? My mother’s death seems mystical and so very sketchy!

Translaryngeal intubation causes bacterial infections. Bacteria enmeshed in a biofilm can adhere to the inner surface of the ETT within hours of intubation, which may contribute to both ventilator-associated pneumonia (VAP; / infection-related ventilator-associated complication) and ventilator-associated tracheobronchitis.

Although she had respiratory failure, her PaO2 and PaCO2 hasn’t been recorded from what I see. Which type of Acute Respiratory Failure did she have was unknown…

No mention of her sugar or her vitals- - not even once, ( besides leaving off all her SPO2 levels at all times in the reports that I have). I know I will never get back my angel mother… what must I do? Pretend as if nothing happened at all!

The cause of her respiratory failure (hypoxia, hypercapnia) hasn’t been mentioned anywhere in her records.

She developed complications like Ventilator Barotrauma  /VIB  that happen to some while on mechanical ventilation.

Drugs shown effective for critically ill mechanically ventilated patients as I understand are ciprofloxacin, levofloxacin, imipenem, meropenem, piperacillin-tazobactam, and cefepime.

None of these  drugs and / or other medications were given for her bacterial pneumonia. Common drugs used in mechanical ventilation is missing…

I have so many questions as I read through her reports. Her reports are incomplete …

She died a painful death. I’ll never get a closure to my grief- - even if I knew what exactly happened within the four walls of the ICU.

For now, I only can let bygones be bygones… There are times when matters aren’t in our jurisdiction…yet, I am devastated and left desolate by her sibylline death.

I am still in self-denial . I am enervated, bone-tired and in a state of stupefaction after reading her reports and after her tragic end.

I have questions, questions and more questions…she was yet another person in this world, but she meant the world to me.

What have I done? How did I convoke  the fortitude and intrepidity to read her death reports ? I have no clue. I am thrown back.

On October-30-2021, I got a call from the hospital to say she’s fine! Later in the day at 1:14 PM, I again got a call from the hospital to say she has had bradyarrest and that they are doing a CPR.

At 1:20 P.M, my phone rings for the last time to say, she’s dead…Cause of death? Bradyarrest, sepsis, ischemic heart disease, Chronic Kidney Disease / End-Stage-Renal-Failure (Thanks to the bungling, inept and amateurish Remdesivir, ) and of course, Covid-19 Pneumonia.

My mother was put in a body bag and was trashed. I wasn’t even allowed to see her all through - - i.e. while they were treating her in the hospital and after putting her in a body bag!

I however spoke to her over the phone just ONCE. She never makes a fuss ..she’s angelic, heavenly and as pure as the driven snow.

However, this once she told me and I quote : “I vomited blood”. End quote.

These last three words of my mother till day resonates in my ears.

The phone was taken away from her, in a flash and her physician said she’s incorrect in saying so!

It can’t get more painful, traumatic and harrowing than this…

My heart is pounding…I am stopping here for now. Me, my loneliness and my memories of my beloved angel mother will always keep lurking in the Stygian darkness…

Me and my loneliness talk to my mother. Will I ever see her again?